The “sacred feminine” refers to the most powerful creative force in the universe. It exists within all of us, whether we’re biologically male or female (or anywhere on that spectrum). It is through this sacred feminine energy that we create, whether we’re giving birth to babies or ideas or works of art or books or business ventures. Although “God” (or “Source”) has been traditionally depicted as male — due to our patriarchal culture — it’s safe to say that God is not exclusively male. God (or “Goddess”) must contain and harness a very powerful female side in order to give birth to anything.
As women in a patriarchal culture, we often deny, suppress, reject, or hide our own sacred feminine energy. This happens because we internalize the dominant social messages we receive. Some of these messages include that women must be relegated to the background, that women can’t make good business leaders, that women can’t make money, or that women’s powerful emotions are inconvenient, irritating, or shameful.
Here are a few signs & symptoms that you’ve suppressed or temporarily “lost” your own sacred feminine energy. (You can’t really lose it, but you can cut yourself off from it.) These are not all-inclusive, but they’ll give you a good idea of where you currently stand:
- you find it difficult to say “no” (even when you really want to)
- you put everyone else ahead of yourself
- you feel guilty if you take time for yourself
- you feel guilty if you spend money on yourself
- you feel burned out by the end of most days
- you have a hard time “pampering” or treating yourself
- you rarely spend time alone
- you rarely engage in pleasurable activities by yourself (i.e., hobbies, taking a bath, taking yourself to see a movie)
- you’re the on-call caregiver/problem-solver for everyone in your life
If any of the above are true, you’re probably feeling depleted, irritated, or not quite right most of the time. This state of affairs is unsurprising when your sacred feminine energy is suppressed or not flowing abundantly — as it should!
Because your sacred feminine connects you to your Source, it replenishes and feeds you, and it gives you the kind of confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth you can’t get from anywhere else. Getting back in touch with your sacred feminine essence can help you:
- stand firmly on your own two feet
- be comfortable and confident in your own skin
- make time for yourself when you need it (or when you want it!)
- say “no” to external demands
- put yourself first
- allow others to solve their own problems (this helps them grow — believe it or not!)
- create time in your day to enjoy yourself
- invest in yourself and your ideas
- value and express who you really are
- fall deeply in love with yourself, maybe for the first time in your life
- stop taking crap from other people
- stop caring about what others think of you
- make choices from an empowered, intuitive, confident place
Sounds good, right?? But how do you get there? Well, you basically have to start practicing what you want your life to look like. If you want more time for yourself, you can’t just complain and hope for a miracle. You have to create that time and guard it fiercely, even if it means not meeting a deadline, saying “no” to someone, or having to postpone something else.
Here are 5 practices you can start experimenting with today (yep, as soon as you finish reading this post!). You’re reading this for a reason: your divine feminine energy is calling back to you. It wants to be awakened, reclaimed, and unleashed. Please implement some of these practices in your life, and come up with your own — doing this can shift so many things for you.
Here are my 5 favorite practices:
1. Say No.
I talk a lot about saying no on my podcast and on this blog. This is because I myself have had a difficult time saying no to many things in my life. We’re conditioned to believe that we must say yes to everything, because we’ll be rejected, punished, or abandoned if we don’t. I’ve got news for you — when you say YES even though you want to say NO, you are rejecting, punishing, and abandoning yourself. Stop doing that!
2. Say Yes.
Conversely, we’ve been taught to repress or suppress our own needs. To say no to ourselves. Stop doing that, too! Start saying YES to yourself. Have a brilliant idea for a work project? Say YES and go for it before your rational mind scares you out of doing it. Have the urge or desire to try a new hobby or to take a trip somewhere? Say YES before you start convincing yourself that other obligations are more important. (Of course, be responsible with this — don’t just blow off work for a whole month to say YES to any whim that comes up. But if you’ve gotten into the habit of saying NO to every desire and idea that comes to you, then you’ve gotta practice saying YES to yourself — a lot.)
3. Pamper & Invest in Yourself.
Again, be responsible with this one, but it’s so important to learn how to invest in ourselves financially. Have you been working non-stop for years? It might be time to take a two-week vacation. Even on a smaller scale, are you pampering yourself on a daily basis? Are you taking luxurious baths, or buying yourself that delicious chocolate cupcake you keep eyeing at your local bakery, or taking yourself out to the movies once a week? Find at least one “pampering activity” you can do every day. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming or expensive. The main point is to acknowledge your essential worth, to give yourself credit for how hard you work, and to make yourself feel good. You deserve it.
4. Ask for What You Want.
This one can be really hard, just like saying no. But we’ve also been taught not to ask for what we want, or that what we want is wrong, or that we shouldn’t have any needs or wants in the first place. To reconnect and liberate your sacred feminine energy, it’s very important to ask for what you want — especially in romantic relationships, both in the bedroom and beyond. Your needs are valid and important. Any partner who’s worth investing in will know this and will want to fulfill your every need.
5. Do Some Goddess Research.
I love this practice! It’s so empowering and it can actually turn into a new hobby. Research pagan goddesses, Greek goddesses, Egyptian goddesses, female archangels, and any other female role models that resonate with you. (Some ideas: Hecate, Isis, archangel Haniel, Kuan Yin, Diana.) Buy books about them, research them on the Internet, get statues for your altar, pray to them, and journal about them. Ask them questions. You can work directly with the sacred feminine energy of mythical goddesses and ask them to help you unleash your own. After all, you’re carrying that same energy within you.